Highs and Lows

I am slipping in and out of reality. O! I don’t want to drift away. I want to pay attention to whatever she’s telling. God! I don’t want her to understand. Oh is that what the British did to the nationalist newspapers during their Raj? That’s so atrocious. But what did they do? Never mind. I’m feeling happy. Oh! Being happy is such an awesome feeling. No tensions. No thoughts. Life’s absolutely perfect. I can face anything. Trust me. I can fight anything. Aha! I’ve heard about that paper. Amrita Bazar Patrika is familiar to me. Didn’t they give a huge advertisement of the founder of ABP a few days back in The Telegraph? But why did they give the advertisement? Was it his birth anniversary or his death anniversary? Should I ask her? Oh no! Not at all. She will understand. Gosh! Harsh is feeling it too. Ahuh!! But he must be habituated to feeling like this in the class. Yeah he’s smiling too like I’m. and look at Rahul. He’s got no work but to grin at me and my condition.

Oh! I got to write about this experience. Seriously I must. This is the first time I’ve done this in class. Man! It’s awesome! Cool! Oh! I’ve a question. How come the missionaries brought out a nationalist newspaper? But I shouldn’t ask her. Someone else should. God! She’s looking at me. God! She must have understood. Shit! O but she didn’t say anything. Eh! Neepa ask her this question. Silly girl! She says she won’t ask her the question. Why? ‘Cuz she doesn’t want to talk to her. How silly! But it’s okay. Some other time. Oh! Why isn’t the bell ringing? I want to sleep. I want to slip into nothingness. I want to rest. Totally. There goes the bell.

Chayan is pissed with me a li’l bit. He says he thought I was his brother. I’ve disappointed him. He thought we would do it together whenever we did it. But this time it was just me and not him. I’m so touched. I’m sorry brother! But I can’t explain to you how free I’m today than I was maybe two years ago. How confident I feel about every decision I take! I purposely inhaled from the roll Harsh made. It was my decision. I feel freer when I make these freaky decisions. Oh buddy if only I could explain this to you. But now I’m too happy to be emotional. But you’ll be my brother always re! We’ll roll together next time and have it together. Aha! This is the happiest moment of my life. My heart isn’t beating. Its dancing just like the waves at sea. So cool. So calm. So serene. That’s exactly what I’m feeling. Serene and content.